Real Birth Stories
“Having my son was the most natural, primal moment I’ve ever experienced.”
The moment I found out I was pregnant - two weeks after my first round of IUI - I became fiercely protective of my unborn child. That protective instinct rebelled against much of what I was being advised by the medical establishment while I embarked on my prenatal appointments. I never felt like I was being seen as an individual. I mean, hello! I was PREGNANT! I was carrying the miracle of life in my belly. I was on cloud 9 (despite the nausea), and I felt deeply connected to my body, my growing baby, and to humanity as a whole. And yet I was being shuffled along through a series of tests, appointments and procedures with little to no explanation. I was also TERRIFIED of giving birth, and didn’t know where to turn for guidance.
Enter Eyla Cuenca. It was kismet that I found her. She educated my husband and I on the Bradley Method of birth, and guided us forward with a relaxed confidence that made me feel comfortable enough to forge ahead with a hospital birth that aligned with our values. With her expertise, I created my birth plan, and spent what remained of my pregnancy preparing for the delivery experience that I hoped to have.
I went into labour naturally at 41 weeks. I was able to stay at home and labour in comfort all day with the support of my husband, my family, and Eyla, before heading to the hospital. The pain of labour was excruciating - there’s no flowery way to put it. But it was also mine. My body was doing what it was designed to do. I trusted in my ability to birth my son, and I did so without an IV, epidural, or pain relief of any kind. My strength, my pain, my essence of womanhood, all culminated in a beautiful birth - messy and intense, but beautiful.
My healthy son was born without complication and placed on my chest, where he began nursing almost right away. The hospital staff abided by my birth plan, which included having my son in my room with me. In the day and a half I spent at the hospital, he didn’t leave my sight once. Eyla encapsulated my placenta, which did wonders for my energy level and milk supply postpartum.
I began my pregnancy journey full of trepidation and fear, and ended it educated and empowered. Having my son was the most natural, primal moment I’ve ever experienced, and I’m still so grateful that I was able to make the choices that felt right for my family. - Nadine
“I knew the universe had taken me down a beautiful path”
Ever since watching "The Business of Being Born" before my first birth ten years ago, I knew in my heart homebirth felt right. Despite this, I pushed my inner knowing aside and had two medicated hospital births, which were not without consequences. Nine years later, after moving to another city mid-pregnancy and leaving behind my beloved doctor, I knew the universe had taken me down a beautiful path and allowed me this once in a lifetime opportunity. Eyla was my first call and for her I am forever grateful. Eyla was the most well-informed, reassuring influence I could ever have asked for. Eyla also introduced me to my extraordinary midwife. With the most incredible birth team in order, I felt completely supported and I knew that my home birth would be my dream come true. Words fall short describing our son's birth; it was the most profound life experience both my husband and I have ever had. I would have ten more babies so that I could do it all again. Even post-partum, Eyla is there to answer questions and help solve problems should they arise. I'm deeply thankful for Eyla and all of her highly educated guidance. -Loving Mama
“There was nothing more important to me than providing him the best start possible”
I was very overwhelmed by the change of situation all around the world especially in the USA right before my delivery in June. I had mentally prepared myself for a natural birth with my family support system by my side. Days before my delivery the fact that my husband could potentially not be allowed in the delivery room let alone the rest of my family coming over from India to help us out hit me like a ton of bricks. I made up my mind that I cannot let all these external factors affect the start that my baby would get. I turned to books like Ina May’s guide to childbirth and was fortunate enough to be referred to Eyla by my midwife. I had 3 sessions with her prior to my labor and she helped me with everything including creating a birth plan the way I wanted, coaching me on what to expect in the hospital and being my advocate with my husband during the birth. I felt empowered with all the right information that made me feel confident I could do this. I had a 36 hour labor but ended up having a natural birth thanks to my determination and support system that included Eyla, my midwife and my husband.
My breastfeeding journey started off very rocky. I was able to feed my son at the hospital but once I got home he refused to eat and started losing weight rapidly and not having enough wet diapers. The immediate suggestion from our pediatrician was to supplement with formula. This was against everything I aimed for in terms of feeding my child and giving him the best start possible. It also made me very sad that I was unable to nourish my child exclusively. We began supplementing with formula for the first 6 weeks of his life. During that time I went through significant baby blues but decided that I will not stop until he is off formula and bottles. There was nothing more important to me than providing him the best start possible. Over those 6 weeks I came up with a plan where I went from bf + formula, bf + expressed bm + formula, bf + expressed bm, and finally exclusive bf with no bottles or pumping. This was possible with Eyla’s guidance, my LC and lots of persistence. I look back at my journey and realize all the mistakes I made but most importantly how I overcame them. Now I look at my son and feel so grateful and everyday I learn about strengths I never knew I had I know every mama out there no matter their journey is already a powerhouse of strength. - Rashmi
“In between contractions, I felt so incredibly peaceful. I gazed at the stars.
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We were on a very public beach, on a holiday weekend, and fortunately it was early morning and still dark outside. There was no one around. The sound of the waves (yes there were waves!) and the wind blocked out my unbridled, animalistic soundscape. We made a sort of star formation with my partner and one friend each bracing my elbows. I was squatting to steady myself in the waves. Midwife Mary was standing in front of me with one hand on my shoulder and the other checking for the baby’s head. The support midwife was bracing her hips from behind. My other two friends were in the water holding space (and taking pictures which I had no idea was happening!) Pretty quickly, a chill set in and I was shivering. This was the one thing my midwife did speak about as something we needed to monitor. My contractions were coming steadily though and she could feel the top of the baby’s head after my first push in the ocean. In between contractions, I felt so incredibly peaceful. I gazed at the stars. Orion was directly above me. The half moon was nestled on the horizon. It was magnificent. I was told afterwards that a stingray was circling around our birthing party for the whole time we were in the water.
35 minutes after we entered the ocean, my son was born. Midwife Mary caught him and swiftly brought him out of the water and up to my chest. Someone quickly wrapped us in towels, and I hustled out of the water as I was trembling at that point from cold. The midwives wrapped a big pad between my legs so that we could go inside to birth my placenta. As we were walking away from the ocean, the sun began to peek its face on the horizon, casting a warm orange glow upon where there had just been darkness. Again we trekked across the path, through the pool area, up the elevator, and to the bed. We caught a glimpse of the first early morning runners down the stretch of the bike path heading in our direction. I can only imagine what they thought seeing our crew. I birthed the placenta, warm and cozy, looking into the wide-eyed face of my baby for the first time. -Kristen D'Amato
“I had complete faith in myself, my daughter and the special bond we had formed long before labor began.”
The night before my 38 week ob appt my husband and I went to his company holiday party. They rented out Eately and there was endless delicious Italian food, basically a pregnant woman’s dream. I indulged on pasta and cannoli’s between conversations about my pregnancy and due date. Pregnant women are literal magnets. During one conversation I felt unusually hot, sweat was dripping down my back. I thought it was just normal third trimester stuff and went for another slice of pizza. I slept fine and the next morning my doctor asked if she could take a look. She noticed that I was really wet and already 2 cm dilated. I was GBS positive so she asked me to go to hospital to make sure my amniotic sac hadn’t torn. I walked over thinking nothing of it. Sure enough it had torn and because I was GBS positive they wanted to start me on antibiotics. She also gave me a small piece of Cytotec orally to help contractions begin. My husband arrives around 3pm with my bag and a bunch of food. My only “birth plan” was that no one ask me to get in the bed. I’m a very physical person and I knew I would feel most comfortable having an active labor. But I wasn’t opposed to laughing gas, an epidural or even a C-section – I remained open to the unknown.
There was a really nice, huge patio right next to our room and my husband and I sat outside and watched the sunset. I walked, stretched, ate and laughed. It was fun and I wasn’t feeling any pain. The doctor came around 7pm and said if I didn’t start laboring that evening she advised going on pitocin in the morning. My doula/acupuncturist came around 9pm and did one point of acupuncture around my ankle and said goodnight. After she left contractions started. My husband thinks that’s when the Cytotec kicked in, I blame the acupuncture…it was probably both. I took a nice warm shower and used really nice products I bought for the birth. My husband and I love surfing so we dimmed the lights, turned on fake candles and a soundtrack of waves. We lied together in bed and he watched the contraction monitor and massaged my back. He would tell me every time a contraction was starting and I would pretend I was being tossed around in a big wave. As it would end I would imagine coming up for air. Around midnight or so it started intensifying and I threw up. The nurse said she would change the sheets so I went into the bathroom.
In the bathroom, I got on my hands and knees and began cat/cowing. Suddenly my water really broke and it was game on. I cat/cowed alone for a long time. The nurse said she had to check to see how far along I was so I came out. I sat on the ground and continued my cat/cows. I was 9 cm. My doctor and doula were still at home asleep! Then a super crunchy nurse got down to my level and said she had an idea. She attached a sheet to the bed frame so I could squat and hold on. It was awesome. Within minutes I reached down and felt my daughter’s head. I told the nurses and they asked me to hold on just a few more minutes until the doctor came. As my doctor and doula ran into the room I begrudgingly got in bed, a few big pushes and my daughter emerged. It was 2:40am.
My labor happened really fast and I was in such a primal zone that I was totally shocked. Mira was put on my skin immediately and latched quickly. Next came the true journey of Breastfeeding which I was totally unprepared for. One amazing thing about my hospital is they always had a lactation consultant on call so I would literally buzz every time I latched and they were so helpful. Breastfeeding is the true marathon and big applause to women who make that commitment. I enjoyed being in the hospital after the birth so much that I called my insurance company to ask how long I could stay for. I loved not thinking about laundry, the nurses were so nice and helpful, my husband brought me great food (no dishes!). The only thing I had to focus on was bonding with my daughter – it kinda felt like a vacation! But after three days it was time to go home and we were ready…
Birth can be totally unpredictable and often outside of our control but feeling prepared and doing the work (physically, mentally and spiritually) beforehand helped me. I felt like I was able to surrender because I trusted my doctor, my doula and my husband which I know is a privilege. Most of all though, I had complete faith in myself, my daughter and the special bond we had formed long before labor began. -Tess
“What empowered me the most was having the knowledge of what I was going through and what was to come”
As soon as I got pregnant, I started thinking about birth. I tend to feel very uneasy in medical settings and although I felt I had no choice but that, I decided to take a more thorough approach to birth education than the classic 1–2-day hospital course. Coming from a traditional family background and not having known anybody who had done a home birth, the idea of a non-hospital birth was crazy, in fact, it did not even cross our minds until halfway through our pregnancy. I had a good relationship with my OBGYN but in the early pregnancy visits I felt disconnected from the process—as if I were a vessel for birth but the doctor was going to handle it all for me.
After learning about pregnancy and labor through our Bradley Method class, we felt empowered by knowledge and confident that we had the right tools to make a decision to birth as we felt comfortable. We hesitated about making the jump; it felt almost like all-or-nothing. However, understanding that a midwife is a fully educated practitioner (with equal or superior training as an obstetrician), that she would have a doctor on call for any real emergency, that we would have the support of our doula and my husband, the decision was easy.
The check-ups with my midwife were extensive but not invasive. I felt involved, respected and consulted. Post-partum visits were truly special; house visits with a willingness to help answer any of our questions and reassure us when needed.
What empowered me the most was having the knowledge of what I was going through and what was to come. It was the ability to visualize that journey, even if you never truly know how the journey will be. The most important force and what kept me going through the difficult times was trust. Trusting that my support system was there for me, and most of all, trusting that my body could bring our baby boy into the world.
We had what they call a “speedster” birth: in just 12 hours our baby boy was in our arms. It was an emotionally and physically intense journey. We went through it together, second by second, contraction by contraction. There was smell of chicken soup at home, my husband would bring me dates, coconut water, and snacks throughout. When I needed support, I had the strength of my husband and doula to massage me through the waves of contractions. It was a beautiful experience to bring our baby boy to the world in the comfort of our own space. No travel, no packing, a true, sincere, uninhibited experience. Truly intimate and immediately formative of a familial bond. We were parents from the first second, when our baby pooped meconium on my husband as he held him for the first time—placenta still beating nutrients into him as he gazed at us. -Anonymous
“Each journey is beautiful …no matter how her baby was born”
Everything is within you. The journey of motherhood started for me before getting pregnant. Focusing on physical and mental wellness not only for myself but the new life I would give one day was a key aspect of preparing for my pregnancy, birth and post partum. Education is another aspect that I focused on. Learning about and familiarizing myself with all the things to be expected. And then of course following your instinct, connecting with yourself and embracing the journey.
Every journey is different, I wanted a home birth but I was completely prepared to go to the hospital as well if needed for whichever reason. My son decided to come a few weeks earlier than expected and after more than 24 hours of home labor we drove to the hospital.
I felt that pregnancy gave me so much strength and will power, believing in the force of nature, and my dream was to give a completely natural birth. I managed that and it was great. But I think key was to not put pressure on myself and to accept that things can go differently. I hope I will have more children one day and I will “empty my glass” once again and I will be open to whatever journey it will be. Each journey is beautiful and every mother no matter how her baby was born is a true super human in my eyes. I felt that empowerment the moment my son was born and I truly respect every mother there is.
All this was not possible though without the great support of my husband and the birth team around me. Especially Eyla who helped us learn more about the nature of birth.
“What most helped me accomplish my goals as a mother and beyond was my incredible partner”
When I sit down to think about my last 11 years as a mother, “persistence” and “accepting the unknown” come to mind. These are the two things that have helped me feel the most empowered throughout the years, especially during the “first time mom” period. They certainly helped me through the difficulties breastfeeding, which- now looking back with only warmth and a sense of accomplishment at the very arduous challenges of a first timer- I can say feel more like necessary growth and a fine-tuning of who I am as a woman and mother rather than something to merely try to get through with white knuckles.
The things that enabled me to accomplish my goals as a mother mostly with my first baby was the knowledge that it was possible to birth my babies the way I wanted to- which was not the way I was shown in movies my whole life or from any woman I had ever heard of growing up. I wanted to birth peacefully at home and I finally knew that was possible after having seen “The Business of Being Born.” That documentary, and a ton of brave women calling out to other women to remember how birth was journeyed though for millennia, disrupted the hospital birth paradigm. I was so grateful to them. Because of that documentary and the books I read about birth and parenting (Birthing from Within, The Continuum Concept, The Aware Parent) helped me step into the unknown- birthing at home with an amazing midwife and becoming a parent.
After my first baby, what most helped me accomplish my goals as a mother and beyond was my incredible partner. He is the kindest, most attentive, most generous, aware and loving soul I know. With him, four children feels doable, even on the hardest days. He inspires me to not only be an amazing mother but an amazing human, in every sense of the word. I love my little family so much and I am so happy that with the help my my incredible midwife and her team I was able to usher them into this world in a peaceful environment and to shower them with all the love in our hearts from the very first moment. I wish that for all births and all mothers, the world over. <3 -Pema
I am grateful for my incredible body and my baby that knew just what to do.
My second pregnancy made me face my doubts about being fit to have a non-hospital birth. First of all, I was now 38 years old and had gained much more weight than during my first. I was much more tired from taking care of a toddler in addition to working, moving, and taking graduate classes. To add to all of this, I was pregnant during a pandemic. There were many uncertainties, and I started to feel overwhelmed, nothing like the joyful feeling of being pregnant with my first two years earlier.
Thankfully I had a midwife and a doula that listened and assured me that my feelings were normal and that I could have another out-of-hospital birth as I had with my first. I had to trust that my body would remember what I had already done two years earlier. Most importantly, had to accept that my body was not broken. My body knew how to take care of and knew how to birth my baby. I did not need to be a particular shape or size to have an intervention-free birth. It helped to see images of different women (different ages, races, sizes, countries, socio economic status) giving birth to their babies. Our bodies are not broken; we were born to do this.
On August 25, 2020, I calmly birthed my beautiful baby girl at home. I am so thankful to my midwife, Eyla, my husband, and my sister. I am also grateful for my incredible body and my baby that knew just what to do. - Martha