Working Through Existential Fear Around Natural Birth
We are so focused on a fear of death—but at what cost? Discover 6 ways to overcome your maternal fears and have an amazing natural birth.
Existential fear is the feeling of dread or panic that arises when an individual considers the limitations of their existence. The thought of death is often something that triggers this fear, leaving people feeling hopeless or in a constant state of anxiety—this can be especially magnified in mothers and especially when one considers natural birth.
Our current collective consciousness exists off of this fear-based model and the western medical model is deeply rooted in (and profiting from) it. This model seems to be particularly rampant in maternal care where mothers are often told that if they don’t do directly as suggested, they are irresponsible women, or worse: their babies could die.
We are so focused on the avoidance of death, but at what cost? In the case of pregnant mothers, the cost is the loss of power and trust in birth. The exchange is for a perceived sense of safety from those within the medical system. Through this model, we have become conditioned to dismiss red flags as we become more and more attached to the promise of “safety”.
Living in fear of birth or birth outcomes often results in a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is common for women to find themselves in the fear-tension-pain cycle of labor and birth. The fear-tension-pain cycle suggests that —or the theory that the more fear a person hasd about labor, the higher the chanceslikelihood of complications and a painful experience.
6 Ways to Overcome Existential Fear in Birthing
It is human design to feel some level of fear and it is a motherly instinct to feel some level of fear. The key is to have the ability and awareness to appropriately navigate and decipher your fears. Some ways that can be done may be:
· Journaling
· Becoming centered in faith
· Practicing meditation or mindfulness
· Learning about your fear:- Wwhere does it originate?
· Having a doula
· Seeing that society’s negativity is based on their own conditioning
Journaling:
Journaling can be a form of meditation and healing that helps us work through our thoughts and fears. Some questions you may want to journal about include:
How does holding onto this fear serve me?
How does it serve my baby?
Is this fear related to a topic I need to become more educated on?
How rational is my fear?
Is this fear probable?
Does holding onto this fear ensure a healthier outcome?
Is this fear stemming from my intuition or is it a misinformed fear?
When did I learn this belief?
When did I learn this belief?
From whom did I learn this belief?
Does this fear motivate me? If so, how?
As we journal, we may realize how many of these fears are “misinformed” fears. Misinformed fears are those that our subconscious minds want to give us to keep us safe. Doing journal and thought work helps us to bring these fears to the surface to allow our conscious brain to remind us that we are safe.
Becoming centered in faith:
No matter your beliefs, you can become centered in faith of some kind. Faith in a higher power, whether that be God or the Universe, faith that life will work together for your good,, faith that the human body has been birthing for tens of thousands of years and the ability to do so is imprinted in your DNA. There are a lot of notions that you can have faith in. Find one that works for you and explore the freedom in the surrender rather than focusing on existential fears.
Meditation or Mindfulness:
Meditation and mindfulness re-center us. They have a way of quieting the noise and helping us sort through our thoughts and emotions. Scientifically, meditation promotes activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. It has been shown to restructure our brains to help us better relax, regulate, and control our emotional responses. Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily have to be meditation. It can be walking through nature, taking a bath without distraction and allowing the mind to wander, journaling, or anything else that just allows us to be still. As we use this practice, we can gain better clarity of how often our fears are not rooted in truth.
Hiring a doula:
A doula is a support person who can act as an advocate, guide, and sounding board for you throughout pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. They are there specifically to help you navigate your birth fears, understand your options and resources, and support whatever choices you make. They know and love birth and mothers which can offer invaluable amounts of confidence and peace.
Learning about your fear:
Education is often the antidote to fear. Women who birth from home don’t do it because they have no fears. They do it because they have gained a deep understanding of the birthing process, their body’s capabilities, and the downsides of the conventional medicalization of birth. As we better understand whatever it is that brings us fear, we most often realize the fear has been exaggerated in our minds. Our birthing process has been perfected over tens of thousands of years. It is only within the last few generations that women have birthed in a hospital setting under the guise of safety. A system who uses threats of harm to mother and baby is not a system who honors mothers and their innate abilities.
If you are ready to unlearn society’s views on birth and gain a deeper knowledge of birth and labor, join our Uncovering Birth Masterclass which provides online, self directed modules and online doula support.